an faq is a frequently asked question

you’ve answered your own question there, really.

No, we just like taking the piss. It’s a lost art.

Online. We don’t have any physical shops. However we do have a full time office in Sunderland and a part time office in Plymouth.

We  aim to be awake and manning the phone /emails from 10am to 6pm every day.

For our unisex garments we predominantly use Gildan attire, which is very generously sized.  You can quite comfortably go shoplifting in our gear, no problem.  Womens sizes are more figurehugging as they’re tailored for the female form. We currently use Fruit of the Loom womenswear after being roadtested and compared to other brands by real life women who’ve seen a chip butty before!

We will make and dispatch your order within three working days of your order being placed.  Most orders are sent via second class (they say this takes 2-3 days) Royal Mail recorded delivery. Larger orders will be sent via DPD or UPS.

Lets be honest, you thought it’d say “shove it up yer arse” or “fuck. right. off.” here didn’t you? Ah that one was too easy so we let it go.  If we’ve fucked up, get in touch and we’ll try and fix it. If we can’t then you can have a refund if you send the original item back. For full legal stuff, see our returns page (link at bottom of page).